What do I need to know about relationships?

There is pain that your partner has caused. Sometimes your partner was consciously hurting you and their self. After many discussions you had about it, the feeling of distance or anger still comes to you and it is very difficult to forgive what has happened.

Sometimes your partner hurts you unconsciously. We choose our partners having some conscious and unconscious expectations. Most of them come from our past. We want our partner to give us something we didn’t have before, for example, being loved or feeling safe.

Being mindful and self-aware are a key to a fulfilling relationship.

Dynamics of relationships:

• Why ‘love’ is a useless word – three alternatives
• Why we pick difficult partners – short video
• What is transference and why it matters – short video
• Why we go cold on our partners – short video
• Transference – short video
• The challenge of being close – short video
• How your attachment style impacts your relationship – short video

Forgiveness exercise

• Forgiveness exercise – click here

Imagination and reality:

• How love stories ruin our love lives – short video

What can help?

• Humour in Relationships – short video
• Why our partners drive us mad – short video
• About affectionate teasing – short video
• On empathy – short video
• On blame – short video
• On compassion – recording

Good books to read:

• I highly recommend this book ‘Hold Me Tight: Seven Conversations for A Lifetime of Love and The Love Secret: The revolutionary new science of romantic relationships’ by Dr. Sue Johnson, the originator of Emotionally Focused Therapy for couples.
• ‘Getting The Love You Want. A Guide for Couples’ by Harville Hendrix, the originator of Imago Relationship Therapy.
• Book ‘The Drama of Being a Child’ by Alice Miller
• Book ‘Feeling & Healing your Emotions’ by Conrad W. Baars, M.D.

Other useful links:

• IVF alternative for couples with infertility Life Fertility Clinic